Allow me to start this blog with full disclosure. I do
not have children. I have been around children my whole life and have spent
many years in children’s ministry but I myself do not have children. I thought
it necessary to put that out there before we start.
Juvenile Detention: A youth in bondage
“If you ever feel it incumbent upon you not to
prejudice a piece of ground by sowing good seed in it, you may rest assured
that the weeds will not imitate your impartiality, but they will take
possession of the land in a very sad and shocking manner. Where the plough does
not go, and the seed is not sown, the weeds are quite sure to multiply; and if
children are left untutored and untrained, all sorts of evils will spring up in
their hearts and lives.” Charles H.
Spurgeon
In my time in
children’s ministry there are several things I have learned. One is that
children are amazing. They are capable of loving in a way that adults, in my
opinion, will never be able to. I don’t know what it is but they have huge hearts.
Consequently these hearts are constantly soaking up the world around them. Here
are some statistics that might just surprise you:
95% of
adolescent boys masturbate. 10 years ago the number for girls was at 60% but Today it's
closer to 80%.
The average
age a person is exposed to pornography is 9yrs old.
93% of
youth have an “online presence”. 80% of children with email receive sexually
suggestive spam weekly.
1 of
every 2 secular songs played on the radio have a reference to sex, sexuality,
or “hooking up”. Literally every other song.
2 of 3 TV
shows include sexual content or references. (Not including mild nudity or
provocatively dressed people)
90% of
students (6th-12th grade) admit to casually swearing. 70%
of those said their parents swear regularly.
Possibly the worst statistic is that 70% of youth drop out of church after 5th grade.
Possibly the worst statistic is that 70% of youth drop out of church after 5th grade.
The bottom line is that
the world has greatly influenced and affected the youth not only in it but also in the church. So what is the American church’s answer to this? Myriad of games, retreats, and hipster youth pastors. Don’t believe me? Google
“youth ministry” and you’ll find a plethora of websites dedicated to helping
ministries “connect” and “relate” to their youth but almost nothing about conforming them to Christ. You’ll find articles that
quote, I’ll try and type this without throwing up, the “great contemporary theologian
Bono”. You’ll find sermons your youth ministry can use such as “the Gospel
according to The Walking Dead” and even how to throw a “Duck Dynasty” youth
party. You will find almost anything BUT scripture based help. My question is this; why are we presenting a gospel that is wrapped in a worldly paper,
stuffed in a worldly box, and watered down to be palatable to a worldly youth? I completely understand wanting to "connect" and "relate" but we don't do it by looking, acting, and thinking like the world. We are sinners in desperate need of a savior who have a savior who desperately wants to save us. That's something we can connect on and relate to.
I also absolutely understand that we cannot keep youth from this world or it’s
temptations but we CAN present a clear difference.
The numbers of
church dropouts for youth ministry is staggering. 70% of youth drop out of
church, 70%. In a study on youths who drop out of the church Ed Stetzer said
“There is no easy way to say it, but it must be
said. Parents and churches are not passing on a robust Christian faith and an
accompanying commitment to the church. We can take some solace in the fact that
many do eventually return. But, Christian parents and churches need to ask the
hard question, ‘what is it about our faith commitment that does not find root
in the lives of our children?’”
This thinking is flawed. Youth are not leaving
the church because they fail to inherit a “robust Christian faith and an
accompanying commitment to the church”. They leave because they’re rejecting
this soft watered down message that we are trying to pass off as the gospel.
Youth have an incredible way of seeing a lie even if it is sprinkled with the
truth. If you want to know what it is about our “faith commitment that does not
find root in the lives of our children” It’s simple. Our lives do not reflect a
regenerated heart. Jesus said, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts,
murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”(Matthew
15:19) If this is what your youth sees coming from you then they know your
faith is superficial. They don’t want your counterfeit conversion, they don’t
want your artificial acts, and they certainly don’t want your feelings based
self-centered gospel. They want the truth. They want the true gospel and we are all too apprehensive to give it in the full. We think the full gospel is harsh and accusatory. We don't want to "tear down" our youth so we neglect to pierce their hearts with the word of God. We make the gospel to be something weak and self-centered when the
gospel should be powerful and effective because it is God's message of salvation. Scripture says, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but it is God's power to us who are being saved."(1 Corinthians 1:18) Through the gospel The Holy Spirit will tear
through their self-righteous sinful hearts EXACTLY the way He did yours and mine. The
Gospel pierces the hearts of God's people but that’s NOT what they’re getting.
Youth ministry today
is void of theology and nary do you even hear a mention of sin or obedience. Ask someone who attends or serves your church’s youth ministry what God wants for them and obedience will probably
be the last thing they’ll say. We do our youth a great disservice by neglecting
the foundational teachings of scripture. A church that withholds the gospel
from its youth is culpable of their enslavement to sin. For too long we have
tried to entertain our youth. It’s time we teach them. When choosing youth
ministry leaders, qualifications need to go far beyond how many pairs of
“skinny jeans” one owns. It shouldn’t be about “can this person relate”. It should be about putting people with our youth that can present a clear example
of the gospel through their lives as well as their words. We need people who
are more than just their “buddy”. We need mentors and leaders with life experience. We would never make a 14 yr old a children's pastor so why do we so often have youth ministers who are barely out of their teens? I don't think age is THE problem but I think it's something to look at. Regardless of age, though, we need people that are going to love. Sometimes that love is tough. We need to teach youth to read their bibles and show them true faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. We
need to disciple their parents. Most importantly we need to stop all of this sissified self-help preaching.
The reason I'm being a bit harsh on this subject is not to "judge" the intentions of today's youth ministries. Anyone who is truly in Christ wants to bring all people closer to him. I'm telling you by and large these tactics we are using are not working. The numbers don't lie. It's not working. It's not bringing them closer to Christ and conforming them to His image. We're creating christianettes who want sermonettes and are all too eager to live a life focused on themselves and what Jesus Clause can bring them. I think it's time we love these kids enough to give them what we needed and what they need. I'm not at all advocating that we stand behind our youth, point them towards the cross, push, and yell "Go! Go!". I'm saying we need to stand at the cross, look deep into their hearts, and say "Come.. Come". Our whole life's ministry needs to be about Christ and making him Lord; not famous, not popular, and not palatable. We MUST make Christ Lord. I pray that this blog draws you closer to Christ and puts a burden on your heart for tomorrow's church, because that is exactly what our youth are. They will be teaching and leading our children and grandchildren to the glory of themselves or to the glory of God. It's up to us...
"Let no one despise your youth; instead, you should be an example to the believer in speech, in conduct, in love, in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
